just being bonnie

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When Dave left on his fishing journey last Sunday, I created a small list of what I was going to do while he’s gone. Not a long list or any big projects but just a list that I could read off when asked what I did during this free time. Just enough that I wouldn’t feel guilty about not doing much.

The list included reading something. While I’m enjoying the freedom I feel with my e-books where I can pull them out whenever I find myself in a place by myself (on my Air and iPhone) and read just a few inspiring pages, I also have a library with lots of printed books I haven’t read. I was looking for one with at least a slim connection to the trip Dave was taking. Hemingway, The Short Stories. I like the idea of ‘short’, because I can stop after any one of them. I don’t have to finish the whole book. Of course he is the classic author fisherman. I also like his style and characters … not sure why I haven’t read much of his work.

I’m through the first three stories and the main character has died in each. It could be depressing but I’m actually hoping for more. Not sure what to think about this yet.

I tripped today. I remember doing this in almost the exact same way last summer. The toe of my Mephisto sandal caught on a raised section of sidewalk. In both cases I was distracted. It’s not that I have to watch every step, but my entire attention was elsewhere so even my peripheral vision was blind. Last year someone I know caught my attention and this time I was texting while I walked. I don’t remember having tripped like this before last year but I expect I have at some time. First it’s embarrassing (I saw no one that saw me this time) and it made me feel clumsy (since it’s the second time in a year should I feel like I’m losing my reflexes?).

My iPhone has added complexity and distraction to the calmness I generally feel. Texting while walking. When it happened I used all my strength to try to catch myself in the slow-motion steps forward but there was no way to stop the downward momentum of my shoulders. I saw a slim edge of grass and set my intention toward it, my iPhone dropped out of my hand, and my left ankle bone and right palm touched the pavement when I landed. Looking up I saw my iPhone was face down on the concrete at the end of the earbud cord. At Erica’s house she pulled out some antiseptic and bandaids to patch up my ankle bone. Several times during the day I checked the face of my iPhone … I still cannot detect a scratch.

My take-away: I don’t need to get a sleeve for my iPhone! Complexity has lead to simplicity. It’s so beautiful when it’s left naked.

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Hello world!

After spending the last year drafting a website in iWeb, unsure where to make it live or even if it was ready, then I invite Diane for dinner and this is out there with no more than a picture and a title. Both of which have changed a couple times in less than 24 hours. And they’ll change again … but that’s the point, to be able to keep playing with it. So I might as well get started because there is no end, until I end.

My idea is to have a journal that will not only grow but can change, allow me to restate my thoughts and perspectives as they evolve. One of the things I LOVE about being over 50 (and yes there are lots!) is that the best parts of life have become much simpler while the most interesting parts have become far more complex. Feeding myself, spending time with people I enjoy, doing nothing, being in the same room with Dave, … are without guilt and the whole of myself is in those moments. Recipes, personal relationships, electronic devices, problem solving, … are full of options, nuances, conflicts and possibilities that can always provide a new way to look at them (without end).

I expect I’ll focus more on pages rather than blogs, but we’ll see how it goes.

Welcome to my world!